I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
