they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
