You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
