My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
