I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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