Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
