i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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