i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
