she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
