he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
