What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
