She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
