Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
