I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
