My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
