Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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