i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I have fence marks all over my body
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
