"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
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