I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
