well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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