my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
