Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
