He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
