hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
