After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
