You're so nebulous sometimes
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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