apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
