The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
