he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
