I love black thongs
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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