If that was your dad, he is hot
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
