She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i believe in u and ur pee
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
