i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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