I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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