I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
