We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
