I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
