Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
