Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
