i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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