I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
