so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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