so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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