since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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