I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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