he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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