dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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