martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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