it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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