he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
