People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
