Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
