So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
